Rollercoaster Ride

So far, 2015 has started off like a roller coaster ride or maybe more like a sled ride down a huge snow covered hill with major peaks and deep valleys  I'm making that analogy because of the vast amount of snow we've gotten over the past 4 weeks.  In my area, close to 70 inches.  It's amazing.  And while it is beautiful, it's a bear to move and there's nowhere to put it.

Then my husband's brother (my favorite in-law) passed away unexpectedly one week before Super Bowl.  My husband and he were close.  They would talk through every New England Patriots game..... sometimes yelling, sometimes agreeing... but always on the same side. They would talk regularly through the week, too, about anything and everything - the weather, landscape work, how to upload songs to the mp3 player, what's going in with the Celtics/Patriots/politics. My husband, though he doesn't say much, misses those conversation - misses the family connection - just misses his brother.  I miss him calling the house and joking around on the phone.  I miss spending a Sunday afternoon with my brother-in-law and his wife - going out to dinner or browsing through an antique shop.

And now my former brother-in-law is dying. I've been separated & divorced from his brother for 40 years but I still thought of my former brother-in-law as family. I loved him. My heart aches for his son, daughter and granddaughter.  I recently went to see him after he was admitted to the local hospice facility.  It was difficult to see him so thin - so frail - so quiet.  And yet, it was good to see him smile, to give him a hug, to talk to him a little.  It was good to let him know I love him.

I'm hoping that with the melting of the snow - then end of this winter - will bring some calm, some hope..... Spring.