So far, 60 sucks!

I get up early stumbling to the bathroom and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  I recognize the me behind the eyes but not the face that I see.  Where did the time go?  When did I get old?

Turning 60 has hit me hard!  I remember my 40th birthday bothered me a little; my 50th not so much.  But 60 has been brutal!  Maybe it's because of the hormonal changes that happen. Someone once said to me that menopause makes you old really quickly.  I didn't agree but what did I know at the time.

I suddenly feel completely and totally out of my element.  As a kid, I was unsure of how to dress, what to wear, what was fashionable, what looked good on me.  I had no idea what to do with my hair or how to apply make up.  But I eventually outgrew those things and became comfortable in my appearance, fashion choice, hairstyle.  My weight was pretty constant and I even spent time in my 30s in tights, leotards, leg warmers and sweatbands doing "dance aerobics", "sweating to the oldies", Gloria Stevens workout classes and Jane Fonda tapes.  I felt good, healthy and fit. In my 40s and early 50s, my workouts slid away to nothing.  My annual physicals were great.... well, until my late 50s when my annuals started showing how genetics was playing it's part in my overall health.  So I've gone back to working out with free workout programs from HASfit and Beauty&theFit..  I'm also back to being careful of what I eat and using portion control.  But....... I still feel completely and totally out of my element in this phase of my life.

I always thought I would grow old gracefully.  But I'm not.  I'm kicking and screaming and trying to turn the clock back and c'mon, let's face it, that's just impossible.  So what do I do?  Okay, I'll keep working out but I suddenly don't know how to dress!  I don't know what to do with my hair!  I don't know how to feel comfortable in my own skin.  And sex!  OMG!  Don't even get me started.  I feel like I did when I was 20.  So sexually, I'm 20 in my head and 60 in my body.  It ain't pretty.

So what do I do?  How do I get myself back to feel comfortable again?  Is this just a morning rant - NO, folks, it's not.  When I hit the "enter" key and publish this post, I'm going to wash my face, try to do something with my hair and try to find something to wear that won't make me look like I'm trying to be 20 years younger or not dowdy and old.

In conclusion, so far, 60 really does suck!

July's Theme: Iced Coffee

It's been hot! Not just hot - the dreaded HHH - Hot - Hazy - Humid.  While I love the fresh tomatoes, herbs, peppers, zucchini, squash flowers, etc and while I'm perfectly willing to cook and can in this freakin' heat, I still dislike the summer's heat and humidity.  No I don't own an air conditioner and quite frankly, I find that living and sleeping in air conditioned rooms makes dealing with heat and humidity so much harder.  It's exhausting to leave an air conditioned store and step into a wall of heat and soaking humidity.  My favorite way to cool down - iced coffee - store bought, homemade, whatever!  I love it!

So as I sit her sipping my iced coffee, I'm thinking of how I really need to focus more. My new online business venture is slow.  It's hard to take yourself from a crafty hobby to home-based online business and be successful.  I'm not trying to go big but I'm finding that sales are slow and I'm pretty sure I know the reason.  I lose focus.  And I lose focus because part of being a one person business is that you have to wear all the hats.  I love the creative hat and the production hat.  Not too crazy about the marketing and financial hats, though, and that's a really biggie.

For instance, I hate the photo shoots but I don't mind doing the listings on my eBay and Etsy shops.  The thing that I really find overwhelming and time consuming are updating Facebook... and Twitter (which I really totally suck at).... and blogging.... and keeping the website fresh.  In other words, I really need to either developing a love of marketing or get me a free marketing person.  I also need to develop better bookkeeping skills.  No!  I take that back.  What I need to do is take the time to organize my receipts, bring my programs up to date and keep it that way.

But it's summer! I feel like I need to be outside for awhile everyday.  Since I'm a huge morning person, I want to do everything in the morning.... everything that requires outside time while the day is cooler and I'm the most energetic.  By afternoon, I want to do nothing but read or knit or crossword puzzles maybe even veg out in front of the TV.  After dinner and dinner clean up, I have no ambition to work on business stuff.  It's crazy, huh.

My goal is develop some focus aka a business plan that I can work from including days and time frames.  Being a list person, you'd think this would be easy but it's not and the biggest reason for that is my husband is retired.  He's a huge distraction to me.  My hope is that I can get him to help me with some things.  Hey!  I wonder how he'd be doing photo shoots?!?  I know the creative, production, technical and financial side won't interest him.  But who knows, that might come with time :D

For starters, I'll be working on a Made Magical blog and I've got some posts in draft form.  I've got some draft posts I'm working on for this blog also.  Hoping to get those done soon also

:D

Cherry Peppers....ooh aah

What a great time of year!  Gardens are overflowing with beautiful, fresh veggies.  Right now, I've got the most beautiful hot cherry peppers. There's nothing like being outside on a warm summer night before an outdoor fire enjoying a nice glass of wine and antipasto (cured meats, olives, artichoke hearts, anchovies, i.e.) with my own stuffed hot cherry peppers.

You can make your own, too.  Here's the recipe.

STUFFED CHERRY PEPPERS

• Fresh cherry peppers with stems.  You will need enough peppers to fill the jar or jars you want to fill.  Use sweet or hot peppers.  Using both red and green makes the jars look colorful.
• White vinegar
• Canola oil
• Olive Oil (I use extra virgin)
• Extra sharp provolone cheese (block form not sliced)
• Prosciutto
• Fresh Basil
• Fresh Parsley
• Fresh Oregano

1. Wash the cherry peppers.  Leave the stems on the peppers.
2. Place all the peppers in a container.
3. Pour enough white vinegar over the peppers to cover them.  The peppers will float so you will need to place something on top of the peppers to keep them below the surface of the vinegar.
4. Let peppers soak for 4 - 7 days.  The longer the soak, the more vinegar you will taste. I put the container in the refrigerator because the vinegar will attract fruit fleas.

Peppers floating in vinegar

Peppers below the surface

 After soaking for the desired time,

Cored peppers, prosciutto & extra sharp provolone cheese

1. Remove the peppers from the vinegar.
2. Carefully remove the stem, seeds and core being careful to keep the pepper whole
3. Cut a square of provolone to a size to fit into the center of the cherry pepper.
4. Wrap the cheese with some provolone and place inside the cherry pepper.  Make sure it fits snugly so that it doesn't fall out of the pepper.
5. Place inside a clean ball jar.
6. Repeat 3-5 until the jar is full.
7. Sprinkle some basil, parsley and oregano over the peppers in the jar.
8. Fill the jar at least half way with Canola oil.
9. Fill the rest of the jar with olive oil.
10. Place a lid and band on the jar and store in the refrigerator.
11. Peppers should sit for at least 7 days before eating.  It's all right if the oil looks a bit cloudy and the olive oil may solidify a little.  Before serving, take the jar out of the refrigerator and allow it to sit at room temperature for about 10 minutes so that the olive oil liquifies.

Gustare con un bicchiere di vino rosso e pane croccante.
 (Enjoy with red wine and crusty Italian bread.)