It wasn't until after my niece took a picture of me and posted it on social media last night that I realized just how the past 6 months have affected me..... I look awful!  Truthfully, I feel awful!  I feel depressed and stressed out.  I keep trying to put on the traditional "I'm OK" face but I'm not and that picture proved it. I've gained weight, my face is puffy, my hair is a mess, my skin is uneven.  I haven't faithfully worked out since my daughter's cancer diagnosis.  I worry. I cry.  I try to continue normal everyday things - I try to be interested in what's going on around me.  It's just not the same.  I don't feel good. I don't feel like me. And, no, I am not taking care of myself.  Even the clothes I have on in that picture are a mess!

So beginning today - not the first of the month - not the first of the week - just this day in the early morning hours, I am recommiting to taking time for me - 30-60 mins of exercise 4-5 days per week and keeping a daily food and exercise journal (myfitnesspal).  I'm going to get my hair styled and I'm throwing out all my clothes that don't fit - a total mess - just aren't "me".

I need to turn this around.  If I'm not at my best, I can't help my daughter.